BLOG REDUX - SAN FRANCISO MAGIC

T-minus 2 very, very short days to the San Francisco research trip. I have so much to do and...

I. Am. Freaking. Out!!! EEEEKKK!

**It's okay. I'm breathing now.**

Since I am busy doing 42 other things, I am putting up another Blog Redux for you. From 2009 (the last time I went to San Francisco), here are some thoughts on the shared experience.

Check back into the blog, because I will be sharing thoughts and photos from the glorious City By the Bay.

Enjoy, y'all!

MYTHS AND LONELINESS

“In utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable.”

“We are lonesome animals. We spend all our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say — and to feel — ‘Yes, that's the way it is, or at least that's the way I feel it. You're not as alone as you thought.’”

-- John Steinbeck

It is now t-minus 15 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.

This vacation of mine, re-scheduled twice, then canceled, now finally back on again, has taken on a mythical nature in my mind - and yet, here I am 15 days out and so far it looks as if it will happen.

Good grief! What will I do when the plane lands at SFO, when I step out into that cool San Franciscan air and breathe it in, when I arrive at my hotel and discover “Yes, I do have a room? Will the moment come when I say “I am here”? I may have to pinch myself a time or two.

I think I’ll trot myself over to the Top of the Mark and get a good stiff beverage and watch the fog roll in “on little cat feet” (to borrow from Mr. Sandburg). It has been too many years since I have been in that fine establishment, listened to jazz, sipped a cocktail, and enjoyed the breathtaking view of that Great City.

Is it real? Will I get there this time?

*Myth.*

The “day job” is damn near killing me lately. I’m exhausted - long overdue for this break. Its tedium sucks the life out of my writing brain, and then when I have a weekend, and maybe throw in one measly extra day off, the writing brain springs back into action - slips back into its blissful groove. Then the writing dream comes back to real life. Lately those writing moments have been short-lived. In San Francisco I will have two whole weeks of them.

*Myth.*

I will be alone on this trip - for the sake of much-needed solitude and the re-acquisition of some peace (I hope) - but, mostly for the sake of the writing work I will do there.

I imagine now standing in Monterey, looking out to sea, feeling the ocean breeze. I imagine standing on the wharf in San Francisco, looking out at the bay. I imagine scanning that great skyline. I imagine Coit Tower, the Transamerica Tower, the Bay Bridge and that architectural wonder, the Golden Gate Bridge. I imagine walking through North Beach, visiting Enrico’s, listening to jazz, walking past Kerouac Alley, City Lights Bookstore, going into Vesuvio. I imagine great meals and fine wine. I imagine the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the experiences - with all their color and texture. I see myself writing notes and taking photos all along the way in an almost vain attempt to capture those places, my feelings - those moments - to capture them so that I might re-conjure them later for you - and for me.

Now they are only lonely thoughts.

*Myth.*

When I experience it, and then write it in this blog, and you read it, is it still a lonely thought? Or will you feel it with me then? Am I able to take my solitary work and turn it into something shared?

When I write it for you, will you say “Yes, that’s the way it is,” or “Yes, I feel it, too. I see how it is to be there. I enjoy the moment with you. You’re not as alone as you thought.”

*Myth.* Maybe not...

Polla Filia,
J.F.