“In utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable.”
“We are lonesome animals. We spend all our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say — and to feel — ‘Yes, that's the way it is, or at least that's the way I feel it. You're not as alone as you thought.’”
-- John Steinbeck
It is now t-minus 15 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
This vacation of mine, re-scheduled twice, then canceled, now finally back on again, has taken on a mythical nature in my mind - and yet, here I am 15 days out and so far it looks as if it will happen.
Good grief! What will I do when the plane lands at SFO, when I step out into that cool San Franciscan air and breathe it in, when I arrive at my hotel and discover “Yes, I do have a room? Will the moment come when I say “I am here”? I may have to pinch myself a time or two.
I think I’ll trot myself over to the Top of the Mark and get a good stiff beverage and watch the fog roll in “on little cat feet” (to borrow from Mr. Sandburg). It has been too many years since I have been in that fine establishment, listened to jazz, sipped a cocktail, and enjoyed the breathtaking view of that Great City.
Is it real? Will I get there this time?
*Myth.*
The “day job” is damn near killing me lately. I’m exhausted - long overdue for this break. Its tedium sucks the life out of my writing brain, and then when I have a weekend, and maybe throw in one measly extra day off, the writing brain springs back into action - slips back into its blissful groove. Then the writing dream comes back to real life. Lately those writing moments have been short-lived. In San Francisco I will have two whole weeks of them.
*Myth.*
I will be alone on this trip - for the sake of much-needed solitude and the re-acquisition of some peace (I hope) - but, mostly for the sake of the writing work I will do there.
I imagine now standing in Monterey, looking out to sea, feeling the ocean breeze. I imagine standing on the wharf in San Francisco, looking out at the bay. I imagine scanning that great skyline. I imagine Coit Tower, the Transamerica Tower, the Bay Bridge and that architectural wonder, the Golden Gate Bridge. I imagine walking through North Beach, visiting Enrico’s, listening to jazz, walking past Kerouac Alley, City Lights Bookstore, going into Vesuvio. I imagine great meals and fine wine. I imagine the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the experiences - with all their color and texture. I see myself writing notes and taking photos all along the way in an almost vain attempt to capture those places, my feelings - those moments - to capture them so that I might re-conjure them later for you - and for me.
Now they are only lonely thoughts.
*Myth.*
When I experience it, and then write it in this blog, and you read it, is it still a lonely thought? Or will you feel it with me then? Am I able to take my solitary work and turn it into something shared?
When I write it for you, will you say “Yes, that’s the way it is,” or “Yes, I feel it, too. I see how it is to be there. I enjoy the moment with you. You’re not as alone as you thought.”
*Myth.* Maybe not...
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
RIDING THE DREAM WORLD WAVE
"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality. Then there are those who turn one into the other."
-- Douglas Everett
It is now t-minus 19 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
Been in full writer mode lately. It’s hard to explain what that is and how that differs from my regular writer mode. Stories play in my head all the time; but, there is a level at which they begin to really take shape - where I’m on a roll - where I *crave* writing more than usual. It’s a writing euphoria. I like to hit the crest of that wave and ride it as far as it will take me. I’m hangin’ a writer’s ten.
My next book in the “Art of Crime” series is in my head for sure; but, I also have another series in my brain, and a standalone novel (or novella) that has nothing to do with my crime writing. So, I’m juggling three great story ideas, and they are all *active*!
I get caught up in my characters, and their stories. They live for real in my head. Later when I re-read my stuff, I’ll go “where did that come from?” I use my brain to hone all the writing and make it as good as I can, as readable, as interesting, without losing that magical part that just makes itself happen.
Hell, I’ve been makin’ stuff up since as early as I can remember - and writing it down into little stories when I was a kid. I used to lie out in the front yard in the early evening and scribble those little stories into a notebook. As it got dark, all I had was the light of the street lamp overhead. I had that euphoric feeling about writing even then.
I couldn’t stop then, and I still can’t. Someone asked me recently “What made you decide to start writing?” I thought, “Decide?!!” There was a decision in there somewhere? Hah! Like I had a choice - well, I had a choice, but not writing would not be a pretty choice for me.
I can feel something good coming in my writing world. Something is about to break open in my next story for the “Art of Crime” series - we’ll call it AOC Book 2. I think there will be a big “aha” writing moment for me on this San Francisco trip.
I chose San Francisco for my next vacation trip (in lieu of my beloved New York City), in part because I do love San Fran, but also I had this idea that would not let me go, and it was all set in San Francisco.
I call it a “vacation”, but to this writer there is No. Such. Thing. My writing brain is on and working damn near 24/7. There are nights when I have a hard time turning off the stuff so I can sleep! The only way in which this trip *is* a vacation, is that I’ll be away from my damn day job, so I can do what I *really* love for two whole, beautiful weeks. I can write whenever and wherever I want. Yeah!!
I’ll be prowling around San Francisco and thereabouts in daylight and dark. There will be some of the next AOC story in the North Beach area, and something I’ll be putting in there that’s set in Berkley/Oakland, and there might even be a little this and that from Monterey/Salinas and San Jose. I’m sure there will be parts of the place I haven’t even thought of yet that wind up in the story. That’s just the way the process goes for me - it’s part very strategic planning and hard work, and part unbelievable surprise.
The surprise - the discovery - the *adventure* - will be how that whole beautiful, mystical landscape of the San Francisco area will play out in AOC Book 2. That’s a big piece of the euphoria for me - the way the stuff I think up blends in with the stuff that just brings itself to me. It’s a fantastic journey between reality and the way reality influences the fiction in my head. When that dream world wave hits its crest, I hop on and see where it takes me.
There are 19 more days before I get to San Fran. I’ll ride this small wave until I get there, and then I’ll be paddling out again looking for a Big Dream Wave to bring me some *new* surprise!
Polla Filia,
J.F.
-- Douglas Everett
It is now t-minus 19 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
Been in full writer mode lately. It’s hard to explain what that is and how that differs from my regular writer mode. Stories play in my head all the time; but, there is a level at which they begin to really take shape - where I’m on a roll - where I *crave* writing more than usual. It’s a writing euphoria. I like to hit the crest of that wave and ride it as far as it will take me. I’m hangin’ a writer’s ten.
My next book in the “Art of Crime” series is in my head for sure; but, I also have another series in my brain, and a standalone novel (or novella) that has nothing to do with my crime writing. So, I’m juggling three great story ideas, and they are all *active*!
I get caught up in my characters, and their stories. They live for real in my head. Later when I re-read my stuff, I’ll go “where did that come from?” I use my brain to hone all the writing and make it as good as I can, as readable, as interesting, without losing that magical part that just makes itself happen.
Hell, I’ve been makin’ stuff up since as early as I can remember - and writing it down into little stories when I was a kid. I used to lie out in the front yard in the early evening and scribble those little stories into a notebook. As it got dark, all I had was the light of the street lamp overhead. I had that euphoric feeling about writing even then.
I couldn’t stop then, and I still can’t. Someone asked me recently “What made you decide to start writing?” I thought, “Decide?!!” There was a decision in there somewhere? Hah! Like I had a choice - well, I had a choice, but not writing would not be a pretty choice for me.
I can feel something good coming in my writing world. Something is about to break open in my next story for the “Art of Crime” series - we’ll call it AOC Book 2. I think there will be a big “aha” writing moment for me on this San Francisco trip.
I chose San Francisco for my next vacation trip (in lieu of my beloved New York City), in part because I do love San Fran, but also I had this idea that would not let me go, and it was all set in San Francisco.
I call it a “vacation”, but to this writer there is No. Such. Thing. My writing brain is on and working damn near 24/7. There are nights when I have a hard time turning off the stuff so I can sleep! The only way in which this trip *is* a vacation, is that I’ll be away from my damn day job, so I can do what I *really* love for two whole, beautiful weeks. I can write whenever and wherever I want. Yeah!!
I’ll be prowling around San Francisco and thereabouts in daylight and dark. There will be some of the next AOC story in the North Beach area, and something I’ll be putting in there that’s set in Berkley/Oakland, and there might even be a little this and that from Monterey/Salinas and San Jose. I’m sure there will be parts of the place I haven’t even thought of yet that wind up in the story. That’s just the way the process goes for me - it’s part very strategic planning and hard work, and part unbelievable surprise.
The surprise - the discovery - the *adventure* - will be how that whole beautiful, mystical landscape of the San Francisco area will play out in AOC Book 2. That’s a big piece of the euphoria for me - the way the stuff I think up blends in with the stuff that just brings itself to me. It’s a fantastic journey between reality and the way reality influences the fiction in my head. When that dream world wave hits its crest, I hop on and see where it takes me.
There are 19 more days before I get to San Fran. I’ll ride this small wave until I get there, and then I’ll be paddling out again looking for a Big Dream Wave to bring me some *new* surprise!
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Monday, July 20, 2009
A TRIP INTO THE UNIVERSE
“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.”
– John Muir
It is now t-minus 24 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
My first big day trip after I get the beautiful City by the Bay, will be a trip by car across the Golden Gate Bridge. There I will make my way into the Muir Woods.
Just beyond the Marin headlands it is there - an old growth coastal redwood Sequoia forest. I can feel the peace of it right now.
I have never been there. I have never seen trees this big and majestic. This will be awesome!
I'm also going to go out to the Muir Beach Overlook. This is one spectacular view of the seemingly endless Pacific Ocean.
I will drive over the bridge this way:
Then I go into the Muir Woods, where I will see sights like these:
When I’m done, I’m going to go knock around in Sausalito for a while.
I'll take lots of photos and make many notes.
Then I’ll finish my brilliant day with another brilliant meal and some good wine. I’m sure I’ll be feeling the effects of having made my way into the Universe. :)
Polla Filia,
J.F.
– John Muir
It is now t-minus 24 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
My first big day trip after I get the beautiful City by the Bay, will be a trip by car across the Golden Gate Bridge. There I will make my way into the Muir Woods.
Just beyond the Marin headlands it is there - an old growth coastal redwood Sequoia forest. I can feel the peace of it right now.
I have never been there. I have never seen trees this big and majestic. This will be awesome!
I'm also going to go out to the Muir Beach Overlook. This is one spectacular view of the seemingly endless Pacific Ocean.
I will drive over the bridge this way:
Then I go into the Muir Woods, where I will see sights like these:
When I’m done, I’m going to go knock around in Sausalito for a while.
I'll take lots of photos and make many notes.
Then I’ll finish my brilliant day with another brilliant meal and some good wine. I’m sure I’ll be feeling the effects of having made my way into the Universe. :)
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
THE ROAD OF PASSIONATE CURIOSITY
“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”
-- Albert Einstein
It is now t-minus 25 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
I am indeed, “passionately curious” as Einstein says, and so, I’ll be making some “day trips” while I’m out in the Bay Area. I’m planning trips to the Muir Woods and nearby Sausalito, Berkley and Oakland, the IndyCar race at Sonoma, and maybe I’ll drive about and explore some other nearby spots as well.
I’m only renting a car on each of the two weekends I’ll be there. The rest of the time I don’t need a car. I plan to hoof it, or take cabs when I’m in the City itself. This leads to a more intense experience of the surroundings in my opinion (and it eliminates the parking hassle and the valet fees at the hotel). :)
More about all that later. Today, I’m focusing on my trip to the Monterey/San Jose area. I’m a writer, so I’m doing some research for a novel while I’m out in San Francisco. Part of that research are the trips mentioned above; but, there are two other big parts of the research that I’m doing further south.
My writing hero is Mr. John Steinbeck, so I’m going to Monterey, Pacific Grove and Salinas to see where he grew up, lived and wrote for a large part of his career. At the end of his life, he lived near Sag Harbor in New York, but he’s buried in Salinas and I intend to go there and pay respects to my hero. I’m also going to visit the houses where he lived, and the National John Steinbeck Center in Salinas. **sigh** This will be a great writing pilgrimage for me.
Now, to the SPOOKY stuff. :D Part of my research will take me to San Jose on my way back up to San Fran (after The Big Steinbeck Pilgrimage). In San Jose there is this place built by Sarah Winchester, of Winchester rifle fame - she was the widow and heiress of that fortune. She moved out to San Jose and began to build this house, adding on to it in bits and pieces - and some pretty *strange* bits and pieces at that - halls that dead end and go nowhere - very weird stuff. They say the house is HAUNTED. You can read about it here at this site, The Winchester Mystery House(see the “Winchester Story” on that site). Also, you can see more about this spooky place here on Wikipedia!
Also check out all the tours they offer. I’m having the Grand Estate Tour, gardens, house, spookiest places in the house - I want the *whole spooky smash*!! Boooooeeeeeeyaahhhh!
This day trip is going to one fun-packed day! I’ll have to get up early (ugghhhh), get my COFFEE(!), and drive down the PCH to the Monterey area. Yeah, that’ll be rough - driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with that SPECTACULAR view! **sigh** Then I do my Steinbeck pilgrimage of the area. The final step of that will be for me to lay some flowers on the blessed man’s grave.
Then I’m off to San Jose! I’ll take the whole guided tour through Sarah’s spooky house. Then I’m back up the peninsula on the Bay side, on my way to San Francisco again. I have a lovely casual, but elegant dinner spot all picked out for that night. There I will sip wine in my reverie of my wonderful trip and all the sights, and sounds, and smells.
I’ll make sure to upload my photos and post some here on the blog. I’ll have a complete accounting of the day’s experiences. :)
Who knows, I may make some unplanned side trips along the way - that’s what that passionate curiosity will do for ya. ;)
Polla Filia,
J.F.
-- Albert Einstein
It is now t-minus 25 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
I am indeed, “passionately curious” as Einstein says, and so, I’ll be making some “day trips” while I’m out in the Bay Area. I’m planning trips to the Muir Woods and nearby Sausalito, Berkley and Oakland, the IndyCar race at Sonoma, and maybe I’ll drive about and explore some other nearby spots as well.
I’m only renting a car on each of the two weekends I’ll be there. The rest of the time I don’t need a car. I plan to hoof it, or take cabs when I’m in the City itself. This leads to a more intense experience of the surroundings in my opinion (and it eliminates the parking hassle and the valet fees at the hotel). :)
More about all that later. Today, I’m focusing on my trip to the Monterey/San Jose area. I’m a writer, so I’m doing some research for a novel while I’m out in San Francisco. Part of that research are the trips mentioned above; but, there are two other big parts of the research that I’m doing further south.
My writing hero is Mr. John Steinbeck, so I’m going to Monterey, Pacific Grove and Salinas to see where he grew up, lived and wrote for a large part of his career. At the end of his life, he lived near Sag Harbor in New York, but he’s buried in Salinas and I intend to go there and pay respects to my hero. I’m also going to visit the houses where he lived, and the National John Steinbeck Center in Salinas. **sigh** This will be a great writing pilgrimage for me.
Now, to the SPOOKY stuff. :D Part of my research will take me to San Jose on my way back up to San Fran (after The Big Steinbeck Pilgrimage). In San Jose there is this place built by Sarah Winchester, of Winchester rifle fame - she was the widow and heiress of that fortune. She moved out to San Jose and began to build this house, adding on to it in bits and pieces - and some pretty *strange* bits and pieces at that - halls that dead end and go nowhere - very weird stuff. They say the house is HAUNTED. You can read about it here at this site, The Winchester Mystery House(see the “Winchester Story” on that site). Also, you can see more about this spooky place here on Wikipedia!
Also check out all the tours they offer. I’m having the Grand Estate Tour, gardens, house, spookiest places in the house - I want the *whole spooky smash*!! Boooooeeeeeeyaahhhh!
This day trip is going to one fun-packed day! I’ll have to get up early (ugghhhh), get my COFFEE(!), and drive down the PCH to the Monterey area. Yeah, that’ll be rough - driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with that SPECTACULAR view! **sigh** Then I do my Steinbeck pilgrimage of the area. The final step of that will be for me to lay some flowers on the blessed man’s grave.
Then I’m off to San Jose! I’ll take the whole guided tour through Sarah’s spooky house. Then I’m back up the peninsula on the Bay side, on my way to San Francisco again. I have a lovely casual, but elegant dinner spot all picked out for that night. There I will sip wine in my reverie of my wonderful trip and all the sights, and sounds, and smells.
I’ll make sure to upload my photos and post some here on the blog. I’ll have a complete accounting of the day’s experiences. :)
Who knows, I may make some unplanned side trips along the way - that’s what that passionate curiosity will do for ya. ;)
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Friday, July 17, 2009
T-MINUS 26 DAYS TO VACA OR HOW THE FRUIT TREE BLOOMS
“Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope it, we know it.”
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It is now t-minus 26 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
This is my first vacation in over two years! This is the longest vacation I have taken in more years than I can remember - *two whole weeks*!!
Life has not been much fun in the last couple of years (see those boring details below in Saying Goodbye - The Tale of a Free Spirit).
Originally, this vacation was scheduled before all the crap hit the fan. Then it got re-scheduled twice when I still thought things might be okay. Ultimately, it got canceled when the stuff came down and I knew it wasn’t going to be okay until it was over. It was over in December, but then really over when all the business was finally, completely done at the end of May.
Now. Fresh start. New life. Forward looking, forward thinking.
The first time I ever set eyes on San Francisco, it was a business trip. Sadly, that was the best vacation I had ever had to that point, and it was the best vacation I had ever had for many years after that. Luckily, that has changed, and I have had many wonderful vacations in more recent years.
I have spent a lot of those vacations going to New York City, because I am in love with that city.
If my first love is New York City, then my illicit affair is with San Francisco. It is magical, mystical, haunting, beautiful. It is a place that has inhabited my dreams.
While I am there, I will do some of the things I love best: drive, walk, explore, photograph, research, write, eat, drink wine (oh yeah!), and attend an IndyCar race the last weekend I am in the area. I have everything all planned and I’ll be blogging about it - both pre-vacation and during.
I have now saved for this trip for over two years. I am going IN STYLE. I am flying first class. I am staying at a certain hotel noted for luxury and service (my fave in any city). I am eating at wonderful restaurants. I am doing this deal top drawer. It will be the experience of a lifetime.
I am going to re-set the “best vacation I’ve ever had” back to San Francisco. Instead of that crown going to some sad business trip, it will now be re-set to a fabulous getaway in the City by the Bay.
The lyrics of This Great Classic, sung by the inimitable Mr. Tony Bennett, could not better express my feeling for this Great City, and the spirit with which I approach my trip.
This is a trip for exhaling. This is a trip for exploring. This is a trip of discovery and re-discovery. The trick, my friends, will be getting on the plane to come back home...
Polla Filia,
J.F.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It is now t-minus 26 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
This is my first vacation in over two years! This is the longest vacation I have taken in more years than I can remember - *two whole weeks*!!
Life has not been much fun in the last couple of years (see those boring details below in Saying Goodbye - The Tale of a Free Spirit).
Originally, this vacation was scheduled before all the crap hit the fan. Then it got re-scheduled twice when I still thought things might be okay. Ultimately, it got canceled when the stuff came down and I knew it wasn’t going to be okay until it was over. It was over in December, but then really over when all the business was finally, completely done at the end of May.
Now. Fresh start. New life. Forward looking, forward thinking.
The first time I ever set eyes on San Francisco, it was a business trip. Sadly, that was the best vacation I had ever had to that point, and it was the best vacation I had ever had for many years after that. Luckily, that has changed, and I have had many wonderful vacations in more recent years.
I have spent a lot of those vacations going to New York City, because I am in love with that city.
If my first love is New York City, then my illicit affair is with San Francisco. It is magical, mystical, haunting, beautiful. It is a place that has inhabited my dreams.
While I am there, I will do some of the things I love best: drive, walk, explore, photograph, research, write, eat, drink wine (oh yeah!), and attend an IndyCar race the last weekend I am in the area. I have everything all planned and I’ll be blogging about it - both pre-vacation and during.
I have now saved for this trip for over two years. I am going IN STYLE. I am flying first class. I am staying at a certain hotel noted for luxury and service (my fave in any city). I am eating at wonderful restaurants. I am doing this deal top drawer. It will be the experience of a lifetime.
I am going to re-set the “best vacation I’ve ever had” back to San Francisco. Instead of that crown going to some sad business trip, it will now be re-set to a fabulous getaway in the City by the Bay.
The lyrics of This Great Classic, sung by the inimitable Mr. Tony Bennett, could not better express my feeling for this Great City, and the spirit with which I approach my trip.
This is a trip for exhaling. This is a trip for exploring. This is a trip of discovery and re-discovery. The trick, my friends, will be getting on the plane to come back home...
Polla Filia,
J.F.
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