Monday, May 21, 2012
FITNESS AND STRENGTH
This is a slight deviation from my usual, but nevertheless a subject close to my heart.
There was a period in my life when I only worked out sporadically, I gained weight and got out of shape. I didn't feel terrible, but I didn't feel good either. This period of my life was an anomaly in the overall scope of my life. It was basically the period between the day my father dropped dead from a massive heart attack (he was a smoker) and the day my mother died from a terminal illness. The process of orphanhood is a bitch.
So, I took care of my Dad's post mortem issues and I took care of my Mom's issues. I made a lot of hard decisions, but I did the right thing for both of them all the way down the line.
What I didn't do was the right thing for ME. I was overwhelmed by a time I didn't expect, and one which hit me hard. I let myself go downhill, and I never will again.
As a child growing up in Austin, Texas I was a tomboy and super athletic. I ran, roller skated, cycled, swung on a trapeze in our backyard, climbed trees - you get the picture. As a teen, I ran track and was a super fast sprinter, and I played two-below tag football in the street with the boys. I was a tomboy, but I loved guys then and now, and I knew the best places to be with boys were in the street playing ball, and working on cars in my Dad's garage. :)
As a sprinter in track, power is all important (not endurance so much). This means strength (read: "muscle"). You have to come off the line at full throttle and keep pedal to the metal all the way across the finish line; or, in a relay, pace yourself in the box until the baton slaps into your palm and then take off like a jet rocket. So, I was powerful for a girl, because that brought me success on the track.
Then the day came when I won an all-important relay race in a meet. My foot caught on a grass runner in my lane (dirt track) and I started to fall right *after* I crossed the finish line in first.
If the baton goes down in a relay race you DQ (disqualify). Would it be a DQ if I dropped it right after crossing the finish?
No, but you and I just had time to think about it, and at that time, I didn't. I was falling at a very high speed, and I was competitive as hell. So, I did the only thing a real competitor would do: I protected the baton to protect the win. Winning that race was going to win the meet for us - and there were socio-economic politics at play as well (we were blue collar kids, and the other girls weren't).
I pulled my right arm up into the air as I fell and the left one instinctively went with it - totally counter-intuitive to what you do when falling. I hit the dirt with both knee caps at speed, and then dragged both elbows through the hard dirt. I still have a scar on my right elbow from that fall.
The baton remained in the air the entire time, and when two of the other contending teams tried to claim I DQ'd, the ref just shook her head and smiled, and told them that not only had I already crossed the finish line before I began to fall, but the baton was still in the air as I lay on the ground.
It was a hard belly flop to take, and I paid with battered knees and an ultimate loss of a half second off my times afterward (that's a death sentence to a sprinter - a half second might as well be an hour). So, my track "career" in high school was effectively dead; but my love of fitness and athletics wasn't.
I was still a physically active teen, and into my early twenties I got even more into cycling and weight lifting. I was lean and fit, and very healthy.
Then my Dad died, my Mom began to give up, and it all went quickly to Hell in the proverbial hand basket.
I was the same person I had always been on the inside, but I was trapped in a physique I never thought I would have - an unhealthy one. Oh, I wasn't sick and dying, but I couldn't continue that way, or I would have been.
Then after my Mom died, I snapped out of it - big time. I wasn't going to drop dead like my Dad did, or give up and get sick and die like my Mom. I'm an athlete in my heart, and I was going to be an athlete in my actions again.
Forget about will power, diets, quick fixes or anything else. If you want to be fit and healthy you have to decide to be - deep down, in your heart of all hearts. It's a decision you have to make every day - and it's not hard to do that. In fact, you can revel in it and it will elevate you day in and day out. It is a decision that will make you proud of yourself over and over again.
It means making changes to your habits: eating habits and exercise habits. Not eating like a truck driver (in terms of portions) and most of all - not lying to yourself about your food or your exercise. The best way to be honest with you is to journal what you eat (and how much) and journal your exercise. This is the most effective way to make and keep lifestyle changes, and it isn't hard or time consuming. There are inexpensive websites to help you do that journaling. I use calorieking.com. Again, it can make you proud of you every day. What a feeling that is!!
This doesn't mean you have to "give up" things. It does mean eating healthily overall and maybe relegating the chocolate cake to a special occasion (or eating a small piece of it very slowly for maximum enjoyment).
To paraphrase someone else (and mine is a much better quote, I think): *Nothing* tastes or feels as good as being fit feels. Everything else that is great about life is so much better when you are FIT.
Notice I said "fit" - because if you have fitness, you'll have health, and you'll be trim and you'll look your best. Period. This is why I hate "diets" and "programs" where the goal is to lose weight or have a "bikini body". Pfff. Too many of those people are skinny, shapeless and FLABBY (and not healthy). No thanks!
Finally, I have this to say: strength training is essential to health. This can be weight lifting like I do, or it can be Pilates, or resistance band training, or yoga - BUT, you must do something to build muscle. Cardio is essential, too; but, too many people do that ONLY. Not good. Cardio conditions your heart and lungs, but strength training does also, and it does so much more. I do both, and you should, too.
You can do sufficient cardio in 20 minutes a day of interval sprints on a bike (or something similar) and be done. Strength training can be done in a compact full-body workout only 3 times a week and you're golden. What both of those things will do for you can save your life - both in terms of length and QUALITY.
Here are the benefits of strength training:
• Boosts production of human growth hormone by 3-4 times to SLOW THE AGING PROCESS.
• Training your largest muscles (butt and legs) in particular (squats, lunges or equivalent exercises) stimulates your body to release hormones that build muscle strength everywhere else. This gives you tremendous stamina and very strong bones to stand on.
• Every pound of muscle you gain BURNS AN EXTRA 50 CALORIES PER DAY. By the way, a pound of muscle is about 1/3 the size of a pound of fat - this means you might weigh more on the scale, but actually be trimmer (think skinny jeans, girls). Don't just look at the scale, get out your tape measure!
• The loss of lean muscle as we age can be HALTED AND REVERSED with strength training. This muscle loss begins at age 30!! You can stop it and turn it around.
• Strength training REDUCES ABDOMINAL FAT, and you don't even have to train your abs to do that - all strength training accomplishes this.
• Strength training elevates your Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR) - the amount of calories your metabolism burns off while you do nothing, including sleeping - elevates it PERMANENTLY as long as you continue to make strength training part of your weekly schedule. The RMR accounts for 60-70% OF DAILY CALORIE BURN. Burn fat 24 hours a day!
• Muscle burns up to 25 times more energy than fat does (AND it takes up less space - what a deal!)
• Strength training reduces blood pressure. This is in part due to the fact that all the muscles in our body assist our heart in pumping blood back from our extremities to our heart. You can think of all your muscles as "little hearts" working away to pump that blood. Stronger muscles do more work, which means your heart can do less, and your blood pressure will ease off. Your resting pulse rate will also slow to something much more healthy.
• Strength training strengthens bones, tendons and ligaments. Strong muscle, tendons and ligaments means fewer injuries, and better agility and stability. Strong bones means you can kiss osteoporosis in old age GOODBYE!
• Strength training boosts the immune system.
Yes, folks, all of the above is true.
I restored my health, and am still in the process of restoring it. I made a decision to do that. It isn't about will power, or pills, or programs, or diets.
It is about: i) the proper type and amount of fuel you put into your body (along with treats from time to time for the enjoyment of things); ii) challenging your body to do the work it was built to do - both in terms of cardio and strength; and, iii) making the decision for all these things because you really do want it.
I decided I wanted it. I hope you decide that, too.
Here's to your health!!
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
BIG WATER
I have been remiss on this blog these last few days. It's been busy. I had a lot of research to get done while I was here, and a lot to think about writer-wise.
So, first of all I've been all over town looking at this and that, taking photos and making notes. I got a lot accomplished, and I thoroughly broke in some new walking shoes (thank you, Nike)!
On Saturday, I went back out on a boat and took a little cruise to Angel Island. It was cold and crazy windy! Choppy waters and the boat was bouncing all over the place - I had a moment of almost panic. I don't know how, but somehow I pushed it down (methodical breathing helps). Finally we arrived in Ayala Cove on Angel Island, which is sheltered from much of said wind. We had a nice little tram tour of the island. It is really beautiful, and if you come to San Francisco I highly recommend you go to Angel Island with your family and a picnic basket. The kids can play and the spot is really beautiful. It is one huge California State Park, with picnic tables, trails, and a little café. It's nice.
Then we got back on the boat and made another trip to Alcatraz. I took a few more photos and then we headed back to San Francisco.
Now, here's the thing: we were back out on that choppy water from Angel Island to Alcatraz and I shot some photos that it now scares me to look at. I was standing - STANDING, people - on the stern deck in that damn choppy water shooting the photos. Don't ask how I did that, but needless to say I have done well in telling my phobia where it can go!
The phobia is not gone, but I exerted a lot of energy last weekend in suppressing it. I'm proud of myself, but I am also tired and done with Big Water for quite a while now. Enough already.
Now, for some pics.
This is Ayala Cove on Angel Island. When the Spanish "discovered" San Francisco Bay (technically Native Americans discovered it, but the Spanish were the first outsiders to discover it), they made it through the strait (Golden Gate) and put down anchor in what is now Sausalito. The next morning they found the sheltered cove across the way and anchored there for over a month while they surveyed the entire bay. That cove is now called Ayala cove after the captain of the Spanish ship.
BTW, you can click on this photo and see all the photos bigger and clearer.
Next are some views from Angel Island, and this is not even the highest point on the island. You can imagine how spectacular the views from the top would be!
This is a view back toward the city, with Alcatraz in between.
This is Raccoon Strait between Angel Island and Belvedere/Tiburon.
These are called the Pride of Madeira and only bloom for a couple of weeks NOW, which means I would not have seen them otherwise. Really pretty!
The following is: the view of San Fran from the Alcatraz dock, the view of the Golden Gate bridge from all that choppy water, and a photo I like to call "what in the hell was I thinking?" - because I have no idea how I stood on the stern deck and shot that bad boy. Clearly, I was so focused on the photography I forgot my senses. :) Seriously, I look at these photos of choppy water now, and I'm scared.
Well, here endeth the pictorial. Tomorrow I head back to Texas (thank you, God). It's always nice to get away, but going home is even nicer. ;)
Polla Filia,
J.F.
So, first of all I've been all over town looking at this and that, taking photos and making notes. I got a lot accomplished, and I thoroughly broke in some new walking shoes (thank you, Nike)!
On Saturday, I went back out on a boat and took a little cruise to Angel Island. It was cold and crazy windy! Choppy waters and the boat was bouncing all over the place - I had a moment of almost panic. I don't know how, but somehow I pushed it down (methodical breathing helps). Finally we arrived in Ayala Cove on Angel Island, which is sheltered from much of said wind. We had a nice little tram tour of the island. It is really beautiful, and if you come to San Francisco I highly recommend you go to Angel Island with your family and a picnic basket. The kids can play and the spot is really beautiful. It is one huge California State Park, with picnic tables, trails, and a little café. It's nice.
Then we got back on the boat and made another trip to Alcatraz. I took a few more photos and then we headed back to San Francisco.
Now, here's the thing: we were back out on that choppy water from Angel Island to Alcatraz and I shot some photos that it now scares me to look at. I was standing - STANDING, people - on the stern deck in that damn choppy water shooting the photos. Don't ask how I did that, but needless to say I have done well in telling my phobia where it can go!
The phobia is not gone, but I exerted a lot of energy last weekend in suppressing it. I'm proud of myself, but I am also tired and done with Big Water for quite a while now. Enough already.
Now, for some pics.
This is Ayala Cove on Angel Island. When the Spanish "discovered" San Francisco Bay (technically Native Americans discovered it, but the Spanish were the first outsiders to discover it), they made it through the strait (Golden Gate) and put down anchor in what is now Sausalito. The next morning they found the sheltered cove across the way and anchored there for over a month while they surveyed the entire bay. That cove is now called Ayala cove after the captain of the Spanish ship.
BTW, you can click on this photo and see all the photos bigger and clearer.
This is a view back toward the city, with Alcatraz in between.
The Golden Gate in fog.
The view of Sausalito.
These are called the Pride of Madeira and only bloom for a couple of weeks NOW, which means I would not have seen them otherwise. Really pretty!
The following is: the view of San Fran from the Alcatraz dock, the view of the Golden Gate bridge from all that choppy water, and a photo I like to call "what in the hell was I thinking?" - because I have no idea how I stood on the stern deck and shot that bad boy. Clearly, I was so focused on the photography I forgot my senses. :) Seriously, I look at these photos of choppy water now, and I'm scared.
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Friday, May 11, 2012
TRIUMPH, PEACE AND BEAUTY
Triumph
Last night I faced a long-time fear, and something amazing happened - something I still don't understand. I succeeded!
I went on the night tour to Alcatraz, which involved me being on a ferry going from San Francisco to Alcatraz Island. To-recap from my prior post - I'm terrified of deep water. Well, I became so absorbed in the onboard narration of the history of the island, etc., AND the views of the city as we left the pier and the views of Alcatraz as we got closer, and taking pictures of all those views - well, I forgot about listening to the iPod and singing and I almost forgot all my fear!
I had one moment as we made our way around a particular buoy where I got a bit nervous and felt a small wave of panic rising, but I put it down and got back to picture taking, and I made it just fine! Then on the way back at the end of evening, I met some nice people from Texas and we got to talking and I was so comfortable and happy to be talking to Texans that I had no fear at all on the way back. Yay!
Now, the man who has been helping me with this phobia of mine told me that the more you face it and succeed, the more you overcome it. So, chalk up last night as a rip-roaring success. Now, mind you this doesn't wipe out my fear, but I took a big, BIG chunk out of it! :)
Here are some photos from the trip:
Peace and Beauty
Then this morning I did a drive around the East Bay, across the San Rafael bridge (past San Quentin *shudder*) and on to Muir Beach, Sausalito and Tiburon. Beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL!! Especially Muir Beach.
The photos below are not going to do it justice. There was the sound of the waves coming in, which was such a soothing sound, and the birds, and then that low, mournful fog horn I could hear in the distance. It was a beautiful morning, in a beautiful spot on the planet, gazing out on the Pacific ocean, surrounded by an incredible landscape. I wish I could bottle it all up and send it to you. I did not want to leave - for real. **sigh**
This is not like a tourist beach, or a tanning beach, or a party beach. This is so much better than any of that, it's in a league of its own. This was a place that whispers in your ear and compels you to stay just a while longer.
The beauty that is Muir Beach:
Tonight I'm off to enjoy some Greek food (Opa!), and tomorrow I have another "face my fear" trip - a ferry ride to Angel Island. Longer trip and I'm planning on succeeding again! Woo-hoo!
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
AN UPDATE - AND FEAR AND THE INTERIOR JOURNEY
"Be fearless. Have the courage to take risks. Go where there are no guarantees."
- Katie Couric
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
-- Helen Keller
First an update, and then some comments on my plans for tonight.
Yesterday was a long day of travel, and I have the blisters on my feet to show for it (from hoofing it through DFW and SFO airports with a heavy bag on my shoulder). OOF!
The payoff was when I got here and, once again, saw this great and beautiful city of San Francisco. Perfect blue skies and man, oh man, is the weather here awesome right now. :)
I was operating on 3 hours of sleep (with the blisters), so of course I walked halfway down Market Street to the Ferry Building and back, because when you're beat and your feet hurt, you really should torture yourself some more. :)
It was a great walk nevertheless, and the calories I burned paved the way for my fab-o meal at Alioto's. Mmmmmm... polished off with espresso and tiramisu... Mmmmm.
This a.m. I was up bright and early (not my usual, but this thing is still on Central Daylight Time folks). After an awesome breakfast in my room, I went out into the day and made a stop at a certain Federal building here in the area. I had a nice visit with a U.S. Deputy Marshal. He gave me some great info for the Big New Crime Novel I'm writing. No, I'm not going to tell you which Marshal or anything about it, because that would give things away too soon. It's going to be good, though. His info helped me tremendously.
That's the update.
Tonight I am going to see more of this great San Francisco Bay because I am going to be out ON IT! I'm taking the night cruise to Alcatraz. Woo-hoo!
Now, here's the hiccup. I am terrified of deep water - TERRIFIED. I'm not talking about a fear, people. I'm talking about a phobia - an epic one imprinted in my brain when I almost drowned as a kid - TWICE!
How do you get over something like this? You face it. I am lately in a mode to face a lot of things. This builds character and I don't believe there are any of us who can't use more of that - no matter how much of it we already have.
So, tonight I get on a boat and I go out into the Bay and I get to tour Alcatraz. They tell me it is more comprehensive than the day tour, and that an actual National Park Ranger will conduct said tour. I will also get some breathtaking shots of the Bay, San Francisco and the sun setting behind the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm focusing on all the positives. I'm not thinking about all the water - well, I'm trying not to think about all the water. I'll have my iPod and I'll hum to myself a lot and do some breathing until we get to the island. Once there, I'll be good. Of course, then I have to get back on the boat to get back to San Fran, but I'll have my iPod - have I mentioned the humming?
The humming/singing is a thought-switching technique someone taught me. It's preferable to hyperventilating, panicking and screaming. I'm sure the ferry captain would rather I hum/sing. :)
Tomorrow I have another insanely busy day, but I will try to upload some photos then - or maybe tonight after I get back. We'll see. Meanwhile, I continue to push my personal limits, because a big part of the adventure is the journey we take inside ourselves. Tonight's journey should be interesting.
Polla Filia,
J.F.
- Katie Couric
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
-- Helen Keller
First an update, and then some comments on my plans for tonight.
Yesterday was a long day of travel, and I have the blisters on my feet to show for it (from hoofing it through DFW and SFO airports with a heavy bag on my shoulder). OOF!
The payoff was when I got here and, once again, saw this great and beautiful city of San Francisco. Perfect blue skies and man, oh man, is the weather here awesome right now. :)
I was operating on 3 hours of sleep (with the blisters), so of course I walked halfway down Market Street to the Ferry Building and back, because when you're beat and your feet hurt, you really should torture yourself some more. :)
It was a great walk nevertheless, and the calories I burned paved the way for my fab-o meal at Alioto's. Mmmmmm... polished off with espresso and tiramisu... Mmmmm.
This a.m. I was up bright and early (not my usual, but this thing is still on Central Daylight Time folks). After an awesome breakfast in my room, I went out into the day and made a stop at a certain Federal building here in the area. I had a nice visit with a U.S. Deputy Marshal. He gave me some great info for the Big New Crime Novel I'm writing. No, I'm not going to tell you which Marshal or anything about it, because that would give things away too soon. It's going to be good, though. His info helped me tremendously.
That's the update.
Tonight I am going to see more of this great San Francisco Bay because I am going to be out ON IT! I'm taking the night cruise to Alcatraz. Woo-hoo!
Now, here's the hiccup. I am terrified of deep water - TERRIFIED. I'm not talking about a fear, people. I'm talking about a phobia - an epic one imprinted in my brain when I almost drowned as a kid - TWICE!
How do you get over something like this? You face it. I am lately in a mode to face a lot of things. This builds character and I don't believe there are any of us who can't use more of that - no matter how much of it we already have.
So, tonight I get on a boat and I go out into the Bay and I get to tour Alcatraz. They tell me it is more comprehensive than the day tour, and that an actual National Park Ranger will conduct said tour. I will also get some breathtaking shots of the Bay, San Francisco and the sun setting behind the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm focusing on all the positives. I'm not thinking about all the water - well, I'm trying not to think about all the water. I'll have my iPod and I'll hum to myself a lot and do some breathing until we get to the island. Once there, I'll be good. Of course, then I have to get back on the boat to get back to San Fran, but I'll have my iPod - have I mentioned the humming?
The humming/singing is a thought-switching technique someone taught me. It's preferable to hyperventilating, panicking and screaming. I'm sure the ferry captain would rather I hum/sing. :)
Tomorrow I have another insanely busy day, but I will try to upload some photos then - or maybe tonight after I get back. We'll see. Meanwhile, I continue to push my personal limits, because a big part of the adventure is the journey we take inside ourselves. Tonight's journey should be interesting.
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
BLOG REDUX - SAN FRANCISO MAGIC
T-minus 2 very, very short days to the San Francisco research trip. I have so much to do and...
I. Am. Freaking. Out!!! EEEEKKK!
**It's okay. I'm breathing now.**
Since I am busy doing 42 other things, I am putting up another Blog Redux for you. From 2009 (the last time I went to San Francisco), here are some thoughts on the shared experience.
Check back into the blog, because I will be sharing thoughts and photos from the glorious City By the Bay.
Enjoy, y'all!
MYTHS AND LONELINESS
“In utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable.”
“We are lonesome animals. We spend all our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say — and to feel — ‘Yes, that's the way it is, or at least that's the way I feel it. You're not as alone as you thought.’”
-- John Steinbeck
It is now t-minus 15 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
This vacation of mine, re-scheduled twice, then canceled, now finally back on again, has taken on a mythical nature in my mind - and yet, here I am 15 days out and so far it looks as if it will happen.
Good grief! What will I do when the plane lands at SFO, when I step out into that cool San Franciscan air and breathe it in, when I arrive at my hotel and discover “Yes, I do have a room? Will the moment come when I say “I am here”? I may have to pinch myself a time or two.
I think I’ll trot myself over to the Top of the Mark and get a good stiff beverage and watch the fog roll in “on little cat feet” (to borrow from Mr. Sandburg). It has been too many years since I have been in that fine establishment, listened to jazz, sipped a cocktail, and enjoyed the breathtaking view of that Great City.
Is it real? Will I get there this time?
*Myth.*
The “day job” is damn near killing me lately. I’m exhausted - long overdue for this break. Its tedium sucks the life out of my writing brain, and then when I have a weekend, and maybe throw in one measly extra day off, the writing brain springs back into action - slips back into its blissful groove. Then the writing dream comes back to real life. Lately those writing moments have been short-lived. In San Francisco I will have two whole weeks of them.
*Myth.*
I will be alone on this trip - for the sake of much-needed solitude and the re-acquisition of some peace (I hope) - but, mostly for the sake of the writing work I will do there.
I imagine now standing in Monterey, looking out to sea, feeling the ocean breeze. I imagine standing on the wharf in San Francisco, looking out at the bay. I imagine scanning that great skyline. I imagine Coit Tower, the Transamerica Tower, the Bay Bridge and that architectural wonder, the Golden Gate Bridge. I imagine walking through North Beach, visiting Enrico’s, listening to jazz, walking past Kerouac Alley, City Lights Bookstore, going into Vesuvio. I imagine great meals and fine wine. I imagine the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the experiences - with all their color and texture. I see myself writing notes and taking photos all along the way in an almost vain attempt to capture those places, my feelings - those moments - to capture them so that I might re-conjure them later for you - and for me.
Now they are only lonely thoughts.
*Myth.*
When I experience it, and then write it in this blog, and you read it, is it still a lonely thought? Or will you feel it with me then? Am I able to take my solitary work and turn it into something shared?
When I write it for you, will you say “Yes, that’s the way it is,” or “Yes, I feel it, too. I see how it is to be there. I enjoy the moment with you. You’re not as alone as you thought.”
*Myth.* Maybe not...
Polla Filia,
J.F.
I. Am. Freaking. Out!!! EEEEKKK!
**It's okay. I'm breathing now.**
Since I am busy doing 42 other things, I am putting up another Blog Redux for you. From 2009 (the last time I went to San Francisco), here are some thoughts on the shared experience.
Check back into the blog, because I will be sharing thoughts and photos from the glorious City By the Bay.
Enjoy, y'all!
MYTHS AND LONELINESS
“In utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable.”
“We are lonesome animals. We spend all our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say — and to feel — ‘Yes, that's the way it is, or at least that's the way I feel it. You're not as alone as you thought.’”
-- John Steinbeck
It is now t-minus 15 days and counting until The Big San Francisco Vacation.
This vacation of mine, re-scheduled twice, then canceled, now finally back on again, has taken on a mythical nature in my mind - and yet, here I am 15 days out and so far it looks as if it will happen.
Good grief! What will I do when the plane lands at SFO, when I step out into that cool San Franciscan air and breathe it in, when I arrive at my hotel and discover “Yes, I do have a room? Will the moment come when I say “I am here”? I may have to pinch myself a time or two.
I think I’ll trot myself over to the Top of the Mark and get a good stiff beverage and watch the fog roll in “on little cat feet” (to borrow from Mr. Sandburg). It has been too many years since I have been in that fine establishment, listened to jazz, sipped a cocktail, and enjoyed the breathtaking view of that Great City.
Is it real? Will I get there this time?
*Myth.*
The “day job” is damn near killing me lately. I’m exhausted - long overdue for this break. Its tedium sucks the life out of my writing brain, and then when I have a weekend, and maybe throw in one measly extra day off, the writing brain springs back into action - slips back into its blissful groove. Then the writing dream comes back to real life. Lately those writing moments have been short-lived. In San Francisco I will have two whole weeks of them.
*Myth.*
I will be alone on this trip - for the sake of much-needed solitude and the re-acquisition of some peace (I hope) - but, mostly for the sake of the writing work I will do there.
I imagine now standing in Monterey, looking out to sea, feeling the ocean breeze. I imagine standing on the wharf in San Francisco, looking out at the bay. I imagine scanning that great skyline. I imagine Coit Tower, the Transamerica Tower, the Bay Bridge and that architectural wonder, the Golden Gate Bridge. I imagine walking through North Beach, visiting Enrico’s, listening to jazz, walking past Kerouac Alley, City Lights Bookstore, going into Vesuvio. I imagine great meals and fine wine. I imagine the sounds, the smells, the tastes, the experiences - with all their color and texture. I see myself writing notes and taking photos all along the way in an almost vain attempt to capture those places, my feelings - those moments - to capture them so that I might re-conjure them later for you - and for me.
Now they are only lonely thoughts.
*Myth.*
When I experience it, and then write it in this blog, and you read it, is it still a lonely thought? Or will you feel it with me then? Am I able to take my solitary work and turn it into something shared?
When I write it for you, will you say “Yes, that’s the way it is,” or “Yes, I feel it, too. I see how it is to be there. I enjoy the moment with you. You’re not as alone as you thought.”
*Myth.* Maybe not...
Polla Filia,
J.F.
Friday, May 4, 2012
INSPIRATION
In every artist's and writer's life there are moments when the inspiration fails, and it fails absolutely. For me, this is abject misery.
Creativity is made up of four main parts in my opinion: i) talent (it's there or it is not, and that is all), ii) craft and skill (taught), iii) experience (learned over time); and iv) inspiration. Talent is the foundation - you build your creative efforts on this. Craft and skill is the part you put on the foundation first - you go out and pursue this yourself, and it includes *practice*. Experience comes to the open mind and heart as it travels along its way. That last bit - inspiration - is pure mystery. What is it? From whence does it come?
Inspired moments are not the largest part of my (or anyone's) creative efforts, but for me they are the transformational part of it. This is the part of your efforts that take your solid craft up to another level (or two).
For me, it is also the exhilarating part of creativity. It's connecting with something outside of yourself that is completely mystical. See "Riding the Dream World Wave" in the Redux below.
It comes when it will, but there are also things I can do to jump start it a bit.
One of those things is reading Steinbeck's journals and letters - especially the letters. On display there are all of his doubts and fears and difficulties. To read his thoughts about his great works and see his uncertainty helps me to understand that even the great ones go through these feelings and struggles.
One of the other things I do is read and re-read parts of certain books I have on the writing life, or on writing technique. One of my favorites in that regard is a book called "Fiction Writer's Workshop" by Josip Novakovich. I do not even remember how I found out about this book, but I have had it a long time. You can still get this book on Barnes & Noble dot com and Amazon.
Here are two of my fave quotes from the Introduction of this book:
"To be a good writer, you must have the paradoxical trait of being a gregarious loner."
Ahhhh...
"As a writer you need a strong sense of independence, of being and thinking on your own...I will give you a lot of advice, but you need not take it."
Yes...
That first line struck me from the moment I read it. It describes my particular personality so well, I couldn't believe it. A gregarious loner.
First of all, I am a people watcher, an observer of situations and behavior, which I catalogue into my brain and utilize when I write. I do this alone - sitting in a bar in a restaurant while making notes for a novel, or in the coffee house while working I look up and watch the interactions of people around me. I often have conversations with total strangers while I am doing this. It is nothing for me to strike up conversations like this. It's fun - and then I put my head down and go back to note taking.
Second, I love to be with people - family and friends - for limited periods of time. Yes, "limited periods of time", because one cannot write a book when one is surrounded by friends and family all the time. I do love to be with people, though, and I am fully in that moment while the moment is there. I drink in all of it - every drop - sight, sound, smell, feeling - and at full intensity.
Then I go into my solitude and write. I make stuff up, and I insert into that all the observations I have from my people-watching and my social life. It is all there, mixed together, melded into scenes and people who have never existed except in my mind.
That second quote of Novakovich leap-frogs off of the first one, and I do have a strong sense of independence. It comes at a price often, but it is worth the price for me.
Then there is his advice about advice. I could not say it better. It is good to be inspired by books on writing life and technique, but a writer must learn when to take advice and when to ignore it. Just because someone has written a thing does not mean that thing is good for you. You must go with your gut and trust that. In fact, I think that is a good idea in life in general. You need a "strong sense of independence and thinking on your own". You must have that to write.
Then you let all of it flow in, inspire you as it will, release the parts that are of no consequence to you, and move on with your writing, your dream, the world you will create.
If you are lucky, the inspiration will come and envelop all your craft, and skill, and experience, and talent, and transport you to that new place you needed to go to give your dream life on the page.
It is the way of writing. It is the way of this writer.
Polla filia,
J.F.
Creativity is made up of four main parts in my opinion: i) talent (it's there or it is not, and that is all), ii) craft and skill (taught), iii) experience (learned over time); and iv) inspiration. Talent is the foundation - you build your creative efforts on this. Craft and skill is the part you put on the foundation first - you go out and pursue this yourself, and it includes *practice*. Experience comes to the open mind and heart as it travels along its way. That last bit - inspiration - is pure mystery. What is it? From whence does it come?
Inspired moments are not the largest part of my (or anyone's) creative efforts, but for me they are the transformational part of it. This is the part of your efforts that take your solid craft up to another level (or two).
For me, it is also the exhilarating part of creativity. It's connecting with something outside of yourself that is completely mystical. See "Riding the Dream World Wave" in the Redux below.
It comes when it will, but there are also things I can do to jump start it a bit.
One of those things is reading Steinbeck's journals and letters - especially the letters. On display there are all of his doubts and fears and difficulties. To read his thoughts about his great works and see his uncertainty helps me to understand that even the great ones go through these feelings and struggles.
One of the other things I do is read and re-read parts of certain books I have on the writing life, or on writing technique. One of my favorites in that regard is a book called "Fiction Writer's Workshop" by Josip Novakovich. I do not even remember how I found out about this book, but I have had it a long time. You can still get this book on Barnes & Noble dot com and Amazon.
Here are two of my fave quotes from the Introduction of this book:
"To be a good writer, you must have the paradoxical trait of being a gregarious loner."
Ahhhh...
"As a writer you need a strong sense of independence, of being and thinking on your own...I will give you a lot of advice, but you need not take it."
Yes...
That first line struck me from the moment I read it. It describes my particular personality so well, I couldn't believe it. A gregarious loner.
First of all, I am a people watcher, an observer of situations and behavior, which I catalogue into my brain and utilize when I write. I do this alone - sitting in a bar in a restaurant while making notes for a novel, or in the coffee house while working I look up and watch the interactions of people around me. I often have conversations with total strangers while I am doing this. It is nothing for me to strike up conversations like this. It's fun - and then I put my head down and go back to note taking.
Second, I love to be with people - family and friends - for limited periods of time. Yes, "limited periods of time", because one cannot write a book when one is surrounded by friends and family all the time. I do love to be with people, though, and I am fully in that moment while the moment is there. I drink in all of it - every drop - sight, sound, smell, feeling - and at full intensity.
Then I go into my solitude and write. I make stuff up, and I insert into that all the observations I have from my people-watching and my social life. It is all there, mixed together, melded into scenes and people who have never existed except in my mind.
That second quote of Novakovich leap-frogs off of the first one, and I do have a strong sense of independence. It comes at a price often, but it is worth the price for me.
Then there is his advice about advice. I could not say it better. It is good to be inspired by books on writing life and technique, but a writer must learn when to take advice and when to ignore it. Just because someone has written a thing does not mean that thing is good for you. You must go with your gut and trust that. In fact, I think that is a good idea in life in general. You need a "strong sense of independence and thinking on your own". You must have that to write.
Then you let all of it flow in, inspire you as it will, release the parts that are of no consequence to you, and move on with your writing, your dream, the world you will create.
If you are lucky, the inspiration will come and envelop all your craft, and skill, and experience, and talent, and transport you to that new place you needed to go to give your dream life on the page.
It is the way of writing. It is the way of this writer.
Polla filia,
J.F.
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