You can have anything you want if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, do anything you set out to accomplish, if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.
-- President Abraham Lincoln
I have written many times on this blog how damn hard it is for most writers to make a living and write. Most of us are making a living with a "day job" and writing in our "free time" (yeah, what the hell is free time?). **grumble**
The goal (of course) is to eventually, FINALLY make enough money to jettison the day job and live in the bliss of this writing gig forever and ever, Amen.
That's the Dream.
My day job is intense. It's a high-responsibility job, dealing with serious matters that require all my brain cells to be on it! The hours are not cookie cutter either. If the work isn't finished in 8 - too bad. There are deadlines that must be met and you meet them - period.
So, at nights after I've met all the deadlines for that day, I write. On the weekends, I write. In my sleep I'm probably writing in my subconscious.
When I wake up in the morning it takes everything I have within myself to fire myself up again.
One. More. Time.
Feet swing out of the bed and meet the floor. I take a good deep breath. I say a prayer. Then I will myself to stand and MOVE!
I squeeze in a workout early and then I get the day job done and do it well (after all, it is *my* reputation on the line, irrespective of the fact that it's a "day job").
Then, there's a brief - very brief - break for dinner and I dig in to the writing for whatever evening I have left. At the end of that evening I have to somehow shut all that off and find some sleep - maybe.
Gearing up for that again and again, day after day can be challenging.
No breaks. An occasional dinner with a friend and then back home to write. Run an errand and come home to write. Vacations? Writing time without interference. Holidays? More writing time without interference.
I'm pushing this Dream up a hill as if it were a giant rock and I am Sysiphus; but, unlike Sysiphus I am not letting go of the damn ball so it'll roll back down again. I'm holding onto it for dear life, pushing with all I'm worth until I'm exhausted.
Then I push a little more.
My goal is to get it to the top and plant that sucker.
I stoke up prayers to my Creator on a daily basis. I like to keep that line as open as possible, so He will keep sending all those good vibes my way. Today I was drag-ass tired (as if that were a new occurrence with this sked).
I prayed for one thing this morning, and one thing only. I said "Lord, just give me the energy I need to attack this day and I'll do all the rest. Just jump start me, please. That's all I ask."
I'm back to pushing the rock. I have enough juice now for what's left of this day. I'll keep pushing until I see The Dream in all of its dimensions, proportions, lines, angles, textures, light and colors.
Then I'll pray for just a bit of energy and I'll push a little more. :)
I am relentless in my pursuit of this Dream. Sysiphus ain't got nothin' on me.
Polla filia,
J.F.
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